First off, thank you for letting me come play on Guys Like Romance, Too! I’m Bailey Bradford, and I’d like to share a little info about my latest release, which is the first book in a new series, The Vamp For Me. Book one is My Life Without Garlic, and it’s filled with sarcasm, sex, and a guy named Augustin who is having the worst run of luck ever.
My Life Without Garlic began as a blog story—I write a free one that generally runs at baileysplayroom.blogspot.com in weekly installments. Anyway, the wonderful group of blog-ees that hang out there get to vote on the next story when I’ve finished with whichever I was writing. When they chose a vampire story, I decided to have as much fun with it as we could.
All those vampire clichés about sun and garlic, crosses and holy water, stakes and coffins? Yep, those are all in there—with a twist of sarcasm. We all came to love Augustin, from is threats to spray all the ‘insects’ with bug spray to his plots to see just how deadly a stake could be.
But we loved him most for his good heart and loving nature—Okay, okay. It was the sarcasm that did it.
I hope you’ll decide to give My Life Without Garlic a try. Y’all have a great day.
Blurb for My Life without Garlic:
This is book one in the The Vamp for Me series.
Some things in life just might be worth giving up garlic for.
It was simple curiosity that led Augustin to the vampire dating site—he thought it must be a joke started up by a bunch of weirdos. Man, was he right—but it just so happens that those weirdos really are vampires, and when one shows up at his place, Augustin’s world is turned upside down.
First he’s got a psychotic vampire to deal with. Then he’s got one who is much more fun hanging around.
Except now that Augustin knows that vampires exist, he can’t be left alive. Or can he? When an alternative is offered up, Augustin doesn’t care for it, either. After all, he doesn’t want to be whisked off to some disgusting vampire den.
Tony’s the vampire next in line to lead the coven. He wants to be a fair man, and that means arguing against killing Augustin. If he’s also attracted to the sarcastic, adorable man, where’s the harm in that?
The attraction between Augustin and Tony is undeniable, but deny it is what they both try to do. Someone is going to have to bend or break.
Publisher's Note: This book was previously available on the author’s blog.
Excerpt from My Life without Garlic:
Augustin took a couple of steps toward the window. Jesus, his heart could not possibly beat any faster. “You’re not real. Go away before I toss some holy water on you.”
The thing’s face contorted and Augustin realized it was laughing at him!
“Oh yeah?” he huffed. He dumped his toothbrush out of the cup he kept it in, turned on the tap and filled the cup with water. “Bless this water and make it kill vampires, in the name of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, and every other deity that may or may not exist, because I don’t freakin’ know.” Now he could hear that fucker howling with laughter. Augustin turned the faucet off. He held up the cup. “It’s as holy as any other water, you douche munch.”
That got the creature to stop laughing.
“Vampire,” Augustin mumbled. “This is what I get for snooping around that stupid site. Nightmares about idiotic, fugly vampires.” The vampire didn’t like that description at all. Augustin could tell by the way it started smacking the window and snarling, its fangs hitting the glass, spittle flying from its mouth. And the stupid monster flipped him off!
“Oh, fuck you back, you rotting hunk of dirt,” Augustin snapped. He wasn’t scared now. He was totally convinced he was asleep, and since he knew he could die in a nightmare and not really die in life, what was there to fear?
Still, he hesitated before taking the last couple of steps to the window. Even in a bad dream, he wasn’t exactly eager to keel over. “You can’t come in here. You’re not welcome here,” he muttered, spouting off the first—well, second—thing he remembered about vampire folklore. The holy water was the first. “I’ve got garlic! Lots of it!” he said exuberantly. “And I can make a crucifix—” Augustin did so with his fingers and sloshed water all over the floor and himself. “Shit!”
The vampire cackled and shook that middle finger at him.
“Oh yeah? This doesn’t count?” Augustin had always wondered when he’d watched those cheesy vampire movies why crossing your fingers to make a human crucifix didn’t work. He didn’t have an answer now, but apparently whatever stupid rule applied in those movies also applied in his nightmares.
“Fine,” he huffed. He settled for tossing the rest of the water at the window. To his surprise, the vampire howled and shot backward. Then it was Augustin’s turn to laugh. “Like it’s going to touch you through the glass.” But he understood the reaction. It was like someone turning the hose on you when you were looking out of the window. You jumped just out of instinct. Still, it was funny to see it happen.
“Hehehehe, moron.” He took a step and squealed when his foot slid. “Ack!”
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